It's OK to not be OK

Total Honesty 

Friends, readers, I want to share a moment of total transparency with you.

I have kind of been at a total loss of words. For everything. The past three months have been a complete whirlwind. Entirely uprooting and challenging so many of the things that we are used to, that we took for granted. Going out for a drink with friends, meeting up after work for pizza, organizing with my team at a client’s house. These used to be easy things.

The sudden explosion of this virus across the world, this global pandemic… It has changed everything. We have been called inward, away from one another as we each figure out our own way of battling a virus we don’t all truly understand. A lot of us, resilient as always, turned it into a moment for reflection, introspection, and growth. That has been great.

That doesn’t change the fact that thousands have died and will die from this virus. Especially given the utter incompetence of this American government.

And as if this isn’t enough... there are horrible, brutal real-life manifestations of America's racism completely rocking the nation.

My heart goes out to George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, and the countless other innocent Black women and men who have died, who have been murdered by the police. My heart goes out to each one of their families. My heart goes out to the entire Black community.

I know I can’t imagine what it must be like to constantly see news of your community dying, being murdered, being afraid… To know that this isn’t the first time, to be so familiar with this hurt.

I do know that it hurts me so much to witness it happening. There is so much hurting right now. It feels like every day there's another devastating story of hate, riots, inequality, murders, poor leadership, corruption, lies, division, the list goes on and on.

I feel powerless. I am tired. we are so tired. Of the racism, the murders of innocent Black men, families devastated, communities anxious and on edge, and afraid of the police.

This is such a historic moment unfolding. I can feel that this time period is very significant and will be looked back on, as many points in history are reflected on today. These murderers and hateful instigators must be brought to justice. Hate never wins. How do we want this moment to unfold? How do we want to be remembered? What is my role in this? What is the point of all this?

These are just some of the questions I have been pondering.